An Apology to Terrell Owens

One thing that irks me about public figures, whether they’re athletes or politicians, is when they blame the media for their downfall.

Newt Gingrich, for example, blaming the media for his marital infidelities during last month’s Republican presidential debate.

“I think the destructive, vicious, negative nature of much of the news media makes it harder to govern this country, harder to attract decent people to run for public office, and I am appalled that you would begin a presidential debate on a topic like that,” Gingrich barked at CNN’s John King for kicking off the Republican debate with questions about his ex-wife.

You’re right, Newt, it’s my fault you cheated on your wife. I apologize to you, and her, for breaking up another one of your marriages. I hope it didn’t cost you the election.

And it appears Terrell Owens likes him some Republican primaries, because the former Pro Bowl receiver is playing the same card now that he’s unable to work his way back into the NFL:

“I think a lot of why I probably didn’t play this year, everybody keeps talking about the ‘character’ issues,” Owens told KESN-FM in Dallas recently. “The last two or three years relatively I was quiet, knowing that everybody was saying that I had a character issue, I’m disruptive, there’s a lot of hype that comes with me, they’re saying I’m a distraction here and there.

“That’s all hearsay. If you ask a bunch of my teammates, a lot of it is basically blown out of proportion, the media making me into a fall guy. Overall, will I ever admit that I was a bad teammate? Never. I wasn’t a bad teammate. Was I disruptive? No, I wasn’t disruptive. I feel like I have a lot of football left and I’m looking forward to getting back to playing.

“I think the thing... I didn’t get picked up was that a lot of general managers bought into the fact that the media thinks that I’m this bad guy, this rebel guy, this disruptive guy that divides and messes up team’s chemistry. They won’t allow me to turn over a new leaf. They won’t allow me to be a better person.”

Again, this is my bad. It’s not because you’ve spent you’re entire professional football career being a showboat or a cancer.

It was my fault you called Jeff Garcia a homosexual. It was my fault you butted heads with Donovan McNabb and were thrown out of Eagles campe. It’s my bad that you wore out your welcome in Dallas, Buffalo and Cincinnati.

You were never a me-first player. I made you go to the Dallas star and pose to the heavens. I put that Sharpie in your sock. I put you on that reality show and forced you to tear your knee up, again.

In fact, when I’m not in the sports media, I also play a part-time role as Father Time. So it’s also my fault you’re 38 years old, slow, butterfingered and are no longer a viable threat in a league dominated by 20-somethings.

But I have some good news for you. If things don’t work out with your football career, you could always join us here in the sports media sphere. We’re looking for interns here at BallHyped if you’re interested.

We’re an equal opportunity employer, and we won’t let the bias in the media affect the hiring process.

In fact, if you’re really interested, we’ll hire you on the spot. No questions asked, and no performance enhancing drug test required, just because we feel bad for ruining your NFL Career.

Please find it in your heart to forgive us.